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Professor Blastoff References
Ep 01: "Welp, that's been podcast." Ep 03: "Beep boop boop boop." Ep 03: "Planetary exploration." Ep 03: "I've written extensively on this subject." Ep 03: "Hey there are good rectums here." Ep 03: Puma Punku. Ep 04: Tunnel guy. Ep 04: "Here's a ghost story. Along came a girl. Ehhhhhh!" Ep 04: The voice of the rectum. "Finally, a break." Ep 04: David's book 'I Just Thought of this Just Now: A book on whale jumping & karma.' Chapter Two: 'Names I'm making up on the spot'. Ep 04: Guy-who-hopes-dogs-get-dressed-up-as-things is the best character. Ep 04: "I'm bringing Nora Ellen back. Ye-ah!" Ep 05: Kyle's coke bottle neck dream story. Ep 05: "I immediately want cookies. I'm just so cute!" Ep 05: Tig's tiny house dream. Ep 05: Jens' dream about juggling slippery babies. Ep 07: Deja vu, aka 'been there done that, girl'. Ep 08: "We have sex with sheep." Ep 09: First three riddles (dimensions & evolution). Ep 09: Time traveling shoe. Ep 10: Weird gypsy. Ep 11: New lease on lice. Ep 11: Baby Tig smoking. Ep 11: Kyle has night terrors about being stuck in a curtain. Ep 12: Kyle parachuting from a crashing plane. "See you later, suckers!" Ep 12: Ghost hot dog. Ep 12: The unlimited woo plan. Ep 12: "I'm a ghost. Don't do that." Ep 12: Jangling cheese. Ep 13: The first time Aaron blames his computer for failing. Ep 13: First extended riddle (binary), second riddle about who knows what - cleaning? Ep 13: No 'That's Been Podcast'. Ep 14: Inventor Kyle & the solar panel & watering system. Ep 14: Aaron is disciplined for his terrible clips for the first time. Ep 14: Exhausted fireman. Ep 15: "Cool beer you've got there." Ep 15: Obesity riddle. Ep 16: It's time to wash your hair you. Ep 16: Cajun tunnel guy. Ep 17: Mack truck toilet flush. Ep 18: Foreign relations riddle. Ep 19: David's "Hey! I'm walkin' here!" Ep 20: Kyle's dance floor erection. Ep 20: Kyle's universe fancy dress costume. "You a faggot?" Ep 20: Sexual attraction riddle. Ep 20: Kyle's beach pick-up. Ep 20: Kyle's fake party pick-up line. Ep 21: Kyle's bear camping story. Ep 22: Apartment goat farm. Ep 22: Xmas meatball. Ep 22: Food riddle. Ep 23: Kyle's two window smashing stories. Ep 23: Atomic bomb riddle (satin & leather). Ep 23: Everyone just needs their own Zip. Ep 23: Nanobots riddle. Ep 23: Tig's sun gerbil snuggle sack. Ep 24: Kyle old Jewish guy. Ep 24: Kyle Miss America loss meltdown. Ep 24: Knockoutball. Ep 25: Existentialism riddle. Ep 26: Kyle falls in love with a near-stranger. Ep 26: Kyle buys flowers for anorexic girl. Ep 26: David's stalker. Ep 27: Big Bang riddle. Ep 27: Brocklesnitch riddle. Ep 28: Paul F. Tompkins' notebook. Ep 28: Tig & Kyle's first recorded fight. Ep 29: David Suntsberger. Ep 29: Tig attempts a Pangea riddle. Marty attempts an atheism riddle. Kyle riddles too. Ep 29: Kyle's Irish letter. Ep 29: Blastronauts. Ep 30: Innocent adult penises. Ep 31: Tig's Xmas tree obstacle course. Ep 31: Kyle's teacher round kicks and bats a penisicle. Ep 31: Overcome fears by going cross-eyed. Ep 32: Prince Petergood riddle. Ep 33: David sets up the girl he likes with his best friend. Ep 35: What's nuts? Ep 35: Ocean riddle. Ep 35: First ever jazz note. Ep 36: Both noses/Double blood. Ep 36: Cheating riddle. Ep 37: "Swamp rock? You kiddin' me?" Ep 37: Green Circle Award winner. Ep 37: Sustainability riddle. Ep 38: Nail clipper suicide. Ep 39: New thoughter kids. Ep 39: Nooth otter. Ep 39: Germophode. Ep 39: David & Kyle fight. Ep 39: Kyle's first Spanish definition & riddle. "The dog is not in us." Ep 39: Spanish swamp rock. Ep 39: "Welp, that's been Blastoff. Nope." Ep 41: Vietnam flashback flatulence. Ep 41: Kyle finishes a fan's riddle about nothing in particular. Ep 42: Kyle gets aids and goes to a Billy Joel concert. Ep 42: Kyle finishes a fan's riddle about I'm-not-sure what. Ep 43: Kyle does the kip-up, hurts something, then does the caterpillar. Ep 43: David was molested by his babysitter (touching tongues). Ep 43: Tig's potato recipe. Ep 43: Tig doesn't need a computer - she has a butter churner. Ep 43: Wonder Woman had to bring her boobs when she ran around. Ep 43: Tig's pickle sandwich. Ep 43: Kyle calls Mother. Ep 43: Kyle should've been an abortion. Ep 43: Swamp rock ring tone - "Ding-a-ling a-ling, your mother's calling to talk about your abortion." Ep 44: Kyle's baby wranglers. Ep 44: Baby Kyle gets his junk caught in a bike wheel. Ep 44: Tig acts like a woman poorly. Ep 44: Spanish riddle, David translates on the fly. Ep 45: Latin Grammys acceptance speech. Ep 45: Swamp rock guy shows his level of enlightenment. Ep 45: First SNL opener? Ep 46: "You look beautiful" kid. Ep 46: "I am so happy!" kid. Ep 46: Turkey. Ep 47: Kyle's concussed. Ep 47: First main Aaron wrangle? Ep 48: Tig's wisdom tooth story. Ep 48: You just got Tigged. Ep 48: Microbe riddle. Ep 48: Giggles. Ep 48: What's up with that? What's up? Ep 48: Kyle's first fan email. Ep 49: First glimpse of Native American Indian guy. Ep 49: Perception/mushroom riddle. Ep 49: Fan riddle (Kyle rhymes parent with apparent). Ep 49.5: Kyle calls mother re: niceness. Ep 50: Kyle's hotel hot tub. Ep 51: 'I love you wife.' Ep 51: Genes riddle. Ep 52: Most depressing podcast ever number one. Ep 52: This oughtta (otter) be a good time. Ep 53: Kyle shows Tig his basketballs. Ep 53: Mother makes Kyle pick up girls at the beach. Ep 53: I love wife. Ep 53: Aaron's VIP song. Ep 53: Butternugget95 tweets. Ep 53: Riddle that takes minutes to complete. Ep 54: Tig makes everyone listening for a second time cringe by joking that she may only have a year left. This is pre-cancer diagnosis. Ep 54: Mother thinks Kyle's calves are perfect. Ep 54: Tig & Kyle fight. Ep 54: ALL the voices. Ep 55: Ms Locker room. "I'll have you know my wife can get in and out of any room!" Ep 55: Apple tuba guy panicked all on his face. Huba Tubeman. Ep 55: Music riddle comp. Ep 55: Music improv. Ep 55: Here comes the flute part! Ep 56: David's beach poop. (09:00) Ep 56: "You might be knittin'." Ep 56: "Quit needling me!" Ep 57: Snook and pasghetti. Ep 57: Kyle's all-whites at the gay pride parade. Ep 57: Here and also there. Ep 59: Kyle & Tig's fight gets physical. Ep 60: American Indian guy. Ep 60: Deiter. Ep 60: Quark riddle. Ep 61: Kyle's fat lumps & Sarah's poor couch. Ep 61: C-Diff riddle. Ep 63: The second in the saddest-podcast-in-the-world trilogy. Ep 63: Kyle gives flowers to all the ladies. Ep 64: The third in the saddest-podcast-in-the-world trilogy. Ep 65: The fourth in the saddest-podcast-in-the-world trilogy (yes I know what a trilogy is). Ep 65: One of the best Aaron intros. Ep 66: Riddle about lumen or something. Ep 66: Amy, while Aaron is speaking about Star Trek: "Quit trying to fuck me and Tig." Ep 67: Wop on the geep? Ep 69: Kyle's bad C-Diff riddle. Ep 70: Extended Jewish guy riff. Ep 70: Kyle's dog bite & puppies. Ep 70: Aaron's intro music starts (In previous episodes, but aired out of order so this is the time it started). Ep 70: "I've got a ham!" (31:40) Ep 71: Kyle's jokes saved the world from Planet Gleeblop in 2022. Ep 72: Cancer free! Ep 72: Kyle scraped his knee and had a bad gig at Nickelodeon. Ep 72: Morbot. Ep 72: Cure-all spaceship drawing. Ep 72: "Oops! Someone just bought my album." - Aaron. Ep 73: Kyle's THC poisoning. "This is ground." Ep 73: Childhood memories including Tig's tiny house dream. Ep 74: Aaron on his own. Ep 75: Ducky takes an elevator ride. Ep 75: Al Gay-ore. Ep 76: Tiny calves, beach poop and the wig. Ep 76: Mrs Trump. Ep 76: Native American Indian, Al Gay-ore & Ronald Reagan chat. Ep 77: "Because she was smiling." Ep 79: Xmas song - "Iiiiiiiiii'm alooooooone!" Ep 79: First Punky reference. Ep 79: Tig asked you a question, just answer the question - The introduction of Abel Wimplebaum. Ep 79: Elmo debates Abraham Lincoln, then shoots him in the head. Ep 79: First ever 'Happy Birthday Dan'. Ep 80: Lil' Tig can't always get what she wants. Ep 80: "Don't you fugaboo." Ep 81: "Because they were smiling" back story. Ep 81: NY shooting. Ep 81: Kyle's brother-a-cop. Ep 81: Chief Big Meat. Ep 81: Brain riddle. Ep 82: Del La Rue went to the overseas (Staten Island). Ep 82: First time Kyle says Punky in different ways. Ep 82: Elephant talking clip randomly starts. When it does start, the elephant speaks Korean and no one knows if it's good or not. Ep 83: "Karen! Kyle!" "What?" Ep 83: Kyle forces Aaron into a riddle. Ep 84: "Hey guys I'm gonna be going to bed in like 10 mins." Ep 84: Command N for 'knobs'. Ep 84: Craig does stand-up. Ep 86: Janeane Garofalo fanboys over Kyle. Ep 87: Kyle's lisping professor. Ep 88: Kyle's niece messages about Daniel Radcliffe. Ep 88: Exciting texts. Ep 88: Del La Rue talks about his age and 'the Japs'. Ep 88: Del La Rue's shower-spray tack penis. Ep 89: "Somebody get me a mic." - Tig. Ep 89: The reluctant hero. Ep 89: Kyle's niece and boring texts part two. Ep 89: Happy birthday Dan's. Ep 89: Subtext Punkys. Ep 89: Kyle stands by his Punky. Ep 90: Poop in a jar. Ep 90: Sventska hunkens bunken. Hunkas be bunken. Ep 90: Tig wouldn't let Kyle put his finger on it. Ep 90: But what about meeeeeeee? Ep 90: Santa Cruz mother of twins sticker. Ep 90: Conehead Old Butthole. Ep 90: She-pac (Ms. Pac-man). Ep 90: First mention of 'Name That Punky'. Audience gives punkies. Ep 90: Mortifying the girl that brought in the valentine. Ep 90: Boring texts. Ep 91: Dave Hill's nephew in karate: "How are cars made?" Ep 91: Homeless lady Santa Claus story. Ep 92: Running topless up a mountain. Ep 92: Star Wars riddle. Ep 93: Tig & Kyle's love making on the bunk beds. Ep 93: A hat on a hat. Ep 93: She-who. Ep 93: Cookies? Bakies? Broil them on a rack at 450 degreesies? Ep 94: Best bit ever in America - Kyle's AMAZING mall food bit. Ep 94: You can't love two people at once because the bible says "You can put it in a woman..." Ep 94: She-who. Ep 94: High-pitched Foxworthy. Ep 95: How 'bout now how 'bout right now? Ep 95: That's a toughie. Ep 95: Calculated review - not even mathematical. Ep 95: Email from THE happy birthday Dan. Ep 96: First game of Name That Punky in its 'proper' format. Ep 96: Don't taint the Punky. Ep 96: Neck and neck Punkys. Ep 97: First use of Name That Punky theme music. Ep 97: Punky corns. Ep 99: Kyle's nostrils. Ep 99: Phone-a-Judy for Name That Punky. Ep 100: Kyle comes out as a rosacea sufferer. Ep 100: Kyle speaks Spanish (De bonk de bus). Ep 101: The introduction of Wagonhini guy. Ep 101: Laughing public toilet pooper letter. Ep 102: Iguana gonna wanna. Ep 102: Go gay off somewhere else. Ep 102: Kyle's Batman cups. Ep 102: Space knight - "Gotta get away. Gotta get away. Uh! Uh! Uh!" Ep 103: Here comes the Tig part. Ep 103: Girl you're doin' too much. Ep 103: Oh Pumpy. Ep 103: Spanish riddle translation. Ep 104: First chicken parking station attendant bit. Ep 104: Real estate novelist. Ep 104: Elton John's seamstress. Ep 104: It's just Kyle's way, he's a little shy. Ep 104: Is you or is you not a hound dog? Ep 104: Kyle's mum helps him hit on a nurse, then get tap shoes made. Ep 104: Mouth is free. Ep 105: Aaron's postcard to Mommy. Ep 105: Kyle & Tig have been banging. Ep 105: Talcing Punky. Ep 106: Keeping a points score for good jokes. Ep 109: Kyle's mom gave birth to his calves way before the rest of him. His nostrils slowed him down. Ep 109: Whispers were about it. Ep 109: The invention of the Punky rental system. Ep 110: "Oh Carol I'm sorry!" Ep 110: Anna's vagina fingers. Ep 111: Kyle's drunk. Ep 111: Jon Dore streaks. Ep 111: Tig's rebel mama - kids on the hood of the car. Ep 112: Tig doesn't know what embarrassing is. Ep 112: "Mother says I move well." Ep 112: Kyle does ballet. Ep 112: Shout outs to Hugh Janus & Neil Strokemycock. Ep 113: Tig gets into sex shorts, goes down a water slide & jumps on a trampoline. Ep 113: Tig can tell Jaden is Asian because of his tiny little eyes. Ep 113: Kyle's faultless first date move (switching the lights off). Ep 113: Aaron's advice to making moves (cookies & smile kisses). Ep 113: Kyle humiliates Tig & they fight about it. Ep 114: Kyle sleeps with an Alaskan hoarder. Ep 114: Impractical uses for space weather. Ep 115: Birds fly with feather arms. Ep 115: Trump swap - the most luxurious frogs. It's terrific. Ep 116: Kyle thinks his tax guy would be in his hotel in Quebec. Ep 116: Ed Asner mouse. Ep 116: Schmucking the salamanders. Ep 116: Kyle's raccoon infestation. Ep 116: Underwater wigs are never fun. Ep 116: Diarrhoea pool & foot. Ep 117: What are you getting paaaaaaaaid motorcycle. Ep 117: We forgot to say goodbye to Kaka and Fred. Ep 117: Spanish Eckhart Tolle riddle. Ep 118: Kyle's pubes on his distended stomach. Ep 118: This is like frogs in Australia problem. Ep 118: Tiggleby & her aids-ridden kitty. Ep 118: Endless hat man from the past. Ep 118: Acapella girls. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Ep 120: Cows wanna know. Ep 120: Creedence is not in a good concert now. Ep 121: Go go Gadget faggot! Ep 122: Stephanie Allynne is Angelina Wells. Ep 125: Night guy. Ep 126: Matter riddle. Ep 127: Kyle kills a man with his car, gives his family a 'lil quilt. Ep 127: Lil' quilts. Ep 127: Epic wrangle from Tig & Kyle. Ep 127: Tig would love to. Ep 127: Redneck blues. Ep 128: Kyle's mother does film reviews for the first time. Ep 128: Pooping (wash your mouth out!). Ep 128: Crotch five. Ep 129: Lil' outfits. Ep 129: "I'M Baby Bear." Ep 129: 1980s digital ringtones. Ep 131: Double dizzy. Ep 131: Tig is really good at scooting. Ep 131: Tig's person song. Ep 131: Lil' outfits continued. Ep 131: Judge puppy. Ep 131: Kyle's raccoons (second telling?). Ep 131: Human hands! Ep 131: Hans Berger. Ep 131: Heep. (He-sheep) Ep 131: For example. Ep 131: You can eat any species that doesn't have human hands. Ep 132: Teach. He's so cool. He smokes 'n' shit. (32:45) Ep 132: Amelia Earhart flew around the world in nineteen eight. (34:20) Ep 133: Blue whale tells dirty knock knock jokes. Ep 133: It's a no P zone on 'rofessor Blastoff. Ep 134: Salty Tig/Greenroom Tig. Ep 134: Lil' Davey Huntsberger: The Musical. Ep 135: General Vague. Ep 135: Blue whale returns with the dirty jokes. Ep 135: Tig does Kyle's voices. Ep 136: Punch out Teach. Ep 136: Mandela's 'speech'. Ep 136: Sleep gal. Ep 136: Ever so slight horsey things. Ep 137: Snouting. Ep 137: An unironic ham is hard to find. Ep 137: I've got a hacky ham! Ep 137: Muffy, the white trash from one of the highest class counties in the area. Ep 139: Accent-less racial skit. Ep 139: Couldn't think top shelf thoughts. Ep 139: Seinfeld also couldn't think top shelf thoughts. Ep 139: "Are you single, ready to mingle, or in a relationship heading for fayshionship?" Ep 139: Memory 'poem' (riddle). Ep 139: Teach teaches. Ep 141: Garage sailing. Ep 141: What are you gonna do, just trample around looking inside pots? Ep 141: Hemaphrodemurs. Ep 141: Hersband. Ep 142: Kyle does Joan Rivers and (the worst) Maria Bamford. Ep 142: Vegan Nut Cake: The Professor Blastoff Story. Ep 142: Kyle's feature film 'Chip Off the Ol' Block'. Ep 143: "That's Kyle Dunnigan and that's Tig Notaro and that's David Huntsberger. And this is Professor Blastoff." Ep 143: You just think your meat and bones around. Ep 143: Researcher or researchim. Ep 144: First of all, congrats. Ep 144: Tig scares everyone into getting cancer checks. Ep 144: Scuttleback. Ep 144: Teach! Ep 145: Kyle is late (again). Ep 145: Tig churns butter under the bar. Ep 145: David does all of Kyle's voices. Ep 145: The thing about Tag... Ep 145: Tig is from a real old fashioned. Ep 145: David tries to make Kyle cry. Ep 145: Crockpots. Chili. Soups. Ep 145: Jacquelyntop. Ep 145: Teach smokes. Ep 146: Blackjack Blackjill Whitejill. Ep 146: "If Mimi Kim's out front putting up balloons, I'm screwed." Ep 146: Aaron's last show. :( Ep 146: Aaron was taken down by a clove of garlic. Ep 146: AIDs in a Bush: A Young Boy's Struggle. Ep 146: Kyle runs us through Meditation with Mother. Ep 147: Kyle wants to get more horny as the show goes on. Ep 147: Aliens are per-thetic. Ep 147: It takes three grim glops to put in a light bulb. Ep 147: Kyle creamed on his left boob. Ep 147: If I had come and speaken for the first time. Ep 147: AS - Above Scuttle. Ep 147: Flo's anus was cemented. Ep 148: Tig No-vice-o. Ep 148: Shit dating stories (literally). Ep 148: Kyle's pageant baby adoption. Ep 148: Kyle's adoption process is mostly stick. Ep 148: toyboattoyboattoyboat. Ep 148: Front turtle - turtlin' from the front. Ep 149: Tootsie-off. Ep 150: Has Tig ever tried the double milkshake in the bedroom? How about the Tennessee whiplash? Or the Oklahoma stranded cowboy? Ep 150: Gals love a double milker. Ep 150: Kyle's move is inviting a girl over, then playing the computer game 'Boner Attic'. Ep 150: Judy Dunnigan meditation. Ep 150: Death rattle whinny. Ep 151: "That's been 'I'm in Love' with Tig Notaro." Ep 151: Plastic Ants/Can'ts/Cannots. Ep 151: Kyle cried when he was nominated class clown in school. Ep 152: Beautiful harmonies. 'Everyone went high.' Ep 152: 'I think it's about cats.' Ep 152: Mutilation flirtation. Ep 152: 'Can I tell you something? You remind me of a little cat.' Ep 152: Nice little nostrils, big nose. Ep 152: 'I'm old!' Ep 152: Big boobs, a sweet rack & nice tatas is all Kyle is looking for in a woman. Ep 153: Poop stories. Tig tells urban legend of woman pooping in new boyfriend's apartment: the toilet doesn't flush, and she locks herself out. Ep 153: Rich Louie (C.K.). Ep 153: Kyle ate canned spinach slime because Popeye did. Ep 153: Domino voice - 'It's doing it!' Ep 153: 'Hello, Cars 'n' Things, I'm a man.' Ep 154: Him-he-ys! Ep 154: David does drunk Titanic guy. Ep 154: David does inflatable disasters salesman. Ep 154: Beautiful scuttlebacking. Ep 154: #diarrhea Ep 155: Massage stories. Ep 155: (Sings) 'Here you go, that's your hmm, watch her go.' Ep 155: David can't do musical theatre. Ep 155: Introducing monster Anna. She went to the mall the other day. Ep 155: The Quackerback. Tebow can't throw bread to ducks. Also, can't throw duck to bread. Ep 155: Is he (Tebow) playing for football teams? Ep 155: Running of the Hun. Ep 155: Kyle is great at sharing sports stories. Ep 155: Kyle's new character thinks it's great when people go to Vermont. His name is Warren Vander Vander (aka Mr. Everynowandthen) and he lives in Dayton, Ohio. Ep 155: Listener call-out to Aaron Steamy Meats. Ep 155: "We're talking about gay sports and Renaud's got the steamy bottom." Ep 156: Tig's a drug addict. Ep 156: Good jokes have layers and zingers, just like the 'Kyle's nutritionist' bit. Ep 156: A bloodied Rottweiler came by with no releash. Ep 156: Another Kyle childhood molestation story. Ep 156: Kyle is look up into the stars for his best friend Jesus (worship jams). Ep 156: Why would you do that to Karen Obermiller!? Ep 156: In year eight, Tig started the process of turning a guy into a leopard man. Ep 156: Hipsters are hip to the jive. They don't like things that are whack. They boogie down to the giddy up on the dance floor. Ep 157: Kyle & David flirt valley girl style. Ep 157: 'It's this Italian dish called nanayabiziness.' Ep 157: Kyle's fascinating TV story. Ep 157: 'Is that how you eat your gluten? Tiny on the end of a spoon?' Ep 158: Kyle makes up many beautiful tracks, including a new Professor Blastoff (The Professor Show) theme. Ep 158: Tempo meter map three times fast. Ep 158: The Fast and the Furiouses - Too Fast For Speed: Pull Over & Go Potty. Ep 158: Batman & Robbers. Ep 158: The story about Lil didn't end well. Ep 158: The Huddlecuffs. Ep 159: 'Nice long neck, dude. Dad a swan? Mum a snake?' Ep 159: Night Guy is dead. Ep 159: Tig is Betty Carrotsnonions. Ep 159: Kyle does an AMAZING Australian accent. Ep 159: Kyle eats about eight meat flaps a day. Ep 159: 'We just did improv? I think I hate improv.' Ep 160: Kyle reverse-psychologies Neil deGrasse Tyson. Ep 160: Kyle has had a lot of gas, he's not doing any drugs. Ep 160: 'The appropriate amount of gas is three farts a day. I think we all know that.' Ep 160: Kyle beats the meat multiple times a night. Ep 160: 'Get that moon theory off this table this instant! It's crawled right up there! I'm eating brisket!' Ep 160: 'It was on Kona.' 'O'Bria?' Ep 160: Mary did a bachelor on moon. Ep 160: 'merica moon. Ep 160: 'Great buffoonary, Mary!' Ep 160: 'As someone that was able to pull Wikipedia up on my computer, I'm gonna go ahead and say no.' Ep 160: 'Moonvin' along.' Ep 160: 'Mooning.' 'That's not knowing about the moon!' Ep 160: Mary, a.k.a. Moon 101. Ep 160: 'I wish you could go - and not just astral project - but if it were possible, just go hang out on the moon for just a little bit with no one else around, just kind of gather your thoughts.' 'Yeah that would be mind blowing.' 'That'd be so fun.' 'Just for, like, 15 minutes?' '15 minutes, I just need to get to the moon real quick, just sit there.' 'Gather my thoughts. I will get back to you on whether or not I'm gonna be able to meet you in New York for that weekend.' Ep 160: 'Happy moon position to you, happy moon position to you...' Ep 160: 'Professor Blastoff, where we will Google things for you.' Ep 160: The breath of life, the hiccup of charm. Mother meditations. Ep 160: 'I didn't mention this earlier, but I think the moon is my friend.' Ep 161: Kyle spent an entire cruise hanging out with an old couple because he looked like their dead son. Ep 161: Night Guy lives! Ep 161: I've got a man! Ep 161: Firetruck tears. Ep 161: couldn'tthinktopshelfthoughts worldkidschamp. Ep 161: JW vs. Mormon arm wrestling. Ep 161: Mormons were tooken off the list. Ep 161: Kyle's no-thoughter church. Ep 161: David had sex out of turn. Ep 161: Kyle's female pilot was crying at the wheels. Ep 161: A cult seems like you grow a beard, hand-me-down. Ep 161: Jazz note topshelfthoughts. Ep 162: Fart gene. Ep 162: You can't tangyou with one Tig. Ep 162: 'David seems knee-deep in the lesbian information. I think lesbians go everywhere.' Ep 162: 'Reading Rainbow's coming back. I think that's pretty cool.' Ep 162: 'Can you grab ****?' Ep 162: 'Please stop grabbing my giggle.' Ep 162: The food purse talk show. Ep 163: 'Sorry about that pop.' 'No problem, ma.' Ep 163: Kyle's fucked-up positive affirmation exercises. Ep 163: This is kitties! Ep 163: Hedonic treadmill. Ooor she-donic. Ep 164: 'You're black and I'm white, why can't we get along?' Kyle's version of Ebony and Ivory. Ep 164: Kyle doesn't like black people and if Tig paid attention, she'd know that. Ep 164: Once, twice, three yards a Tiggy. Ep 164: Mommy's little handsome boy. Ep 164: Diablo's 144 book reports. Ep 164: 'You've got a kicking beaver!' Ep 164: 'You'll stay and I'LL harmonize!' Ep 165: Tigglejudge. Ep 165: Lil' Davey Kittypaws. Ep 165: Sing-off. Ep 165: Tiggleby and the snuggle bed. Ep 165: The bubble throat episode. Ep 165: Kyle shows off his mad Spanish skills. Ep 165: Kyle's young Spanish teacher is inappropriate. Ep 165: Kyle's beautiful love song. Ep 165: Defining love. Ep 165: Kyle's vlog 'Where is She?' Ep 165: 'Caught you, you gay!' Ep 165: Kyle finished the poem David was quoting. Ep 165: David says foot rubbing is internments. Ep 166: The cat that did something earlier on America's Funniest Home Videos. Ep 166: Tig went out with a guy that is now Kelly Clarkson's bassist. Ep 166: David talks to spiders. Ep 166: Kyle's Jew chops. Ep 166: Johnny Carson and Zsa Zsa Gabor stop by. Ep 166: 'He's gonna be so excited to meet us!' Ep 166: Hamdom. Ep 166: 'Stacey was not s'posed to know!' Ep 166: 'I you and us we.' Ep 166: Shin scrape! Ep 167: Inconthevable! Ep 167: (Sings) 'Walk personality, talk personality, divide personality.' Ep 167: Personalable. Ep 167: 'You've got to meet Tig. She has the perfect personality.' Ep 167: Cool hunch. Ep 167: David would J all over your parade. Ep 168: 'My mother's arms are so wild, if she got rid of them she'd be mute. Good night. It's just me, four-year-old Tig. I'm gonna go have a cigarette, hit the sack.' Ep 168: 'You can flub up your words.' Ep 168: David's rap - 'I went to a thing'. Ep 168: Kyle raps with his body. Ep 168: 'Let's turn on our juicers!' Ep 168: Radio song intros. Ep 168: 'It seems like it maybe has to be!' Ep 168: 'Produced by Jim Roach, please...' Ep 168: 'Dogs are boys, cats are girls. I just can't get over that.' Ep 168: Google with it. Ep 169: Some bacteria with a cold. Ep 169: 'Don't tell me to go to image!' Ep 169: 'That's a good impression of someone who can't hear.' Ep 170: 'Are you made of muffins? ARE YOU MADE OF MUFFINS!?' Ep 170: 'Aah Tiggleby be ticklin' me!' Ep 170: 'I was a very horny young man.' 'Ew.' Ep 170: 'He can't be friends with coral! Am I right you guys?' Ep 170: 'I can't have any more Dr. Phil talk!' Ep 170: Two fingers of blueberries. Ep 170: 'Use your genitals. That's what I'm saying.' Ep 170: Meatsacs. Ep 170: "Oorrrrever young! I ont to be orrrever young.' Ep 170: Cowboy ham. Ep 171: 'You're a real lolly farter, aren't you?' Ep 171: 'Should we check in with the profess-' 'CONSCIOUSNESS.' Ep 171: 'Move finger, meat finger.' Ep 171: Creepo! Ep 171: Kyle's suicidal sex robot (and eggs). Ep 171: My Arm or My Lady. Ep 171: Mickey Mears at Disneyland. Ep 172: David & Kyle are in Tig's top 50 friends, but not in the top 20. Ep 172: Kids with only one good eye. Ep 172: Tig in a Blanket, the homeless-people-in-coats foundation. Ep 173: The Bill Cosby episode. Ep 173: David's just mad about Kyle's nuts. Ep 173: Welcome to our pawscat. Ep 173: 'Genitals, you have been reassigned!' Ep 173: Autism on the playground. You get it when you can. Ep 173: She's very successful writer. Ep 173: Handshakes. Smiling. Appropriate tickling. Sharing food. Winks. Ep 173: 'Hey, don't sit on the Asians.' Ep 174: 'I have the worst thirds in the whole podcast.' Ep 174: 'Two Chelsea Handler Books Put Together' by Tig Notaro (or Chelsea Handler). Ep 174: Kitchy Tig trinklets. Ep 174: 'Am I higher or lower?' Ep 174: Kermiddy Cartoon Network. Ep 175: Olive and the rice cake create drama. Ep 175: (Sings) 'We're gonna eat some food and have our dogs bark.' Ep 175: Olive gets miked. Ep 175: 'What's mortar!?' Ep 175: 'It's good it's good.' Ep 176: Beep boop boop boop hey Hey HEY! Ep 176: (To your baby bump) 'There's a weird guy in the elevator with us.' Ep 176: Let's read from the book of tumors. Ep 176: (In a Jewish accent) 'Why would you do this to your poor Asian mother!?' Ep176: (In a Jewish accent) 'Oh boy I love to use chopsticks when I eat my rice food.' Ep 176: Tiggle tell you. Ep 177: 'Hard to love and nine-year-old. Tig?' Ep 177: 'Did you ever make out with your sister as a kid?' Ep 177: 'So a lot of stick figures get ripped up.' Ep 177: 'Whoa! That's faster than the DMV!' Ep 178: High energy, bad attitude. Ep 178: Boba Fett's Italian friend. Ep 178: 'Kristen's going to ignore Lily when she jumps.' Ep 178: 'I love magic!' Ep 178: Tig, David & Jen join Kyle's body band. Ep 178: 'A modern woman is best known for her boobs & her soup.' Ep 178: 'I piggybacked that chicken.' Ep 178: 'Worksops!' Ep 178: 'Don't tell her exactly where it is. Just send her in that direction.' Ep 178: Tig's boobs got a lot of action and that's what caused the breast cancer. Too many boob swats. Ep 178: 'Scuttleback and don't swat your boobs.' Ep 179: It turns out Kyle is God. Ep 179: Tough Tig & Sweetie Petey. Ep 179: Kyle gives Pete a lot of life advice with his body. Ep 179: Pete raps with his body. Ep 180: 'Ain't No Sunshine' body rap. Ep 180: 'Look at me.' Ep 180: 'Say something of substance.' 'I just woke up.' Ep 180: You developed breast cancer one week ago in your hand.' Ep 180: 'Burf heef hufhufhufhufhuf.' (Horse noises, obviously) Ep 180: 'Oh you were playing stick throw.' Ep 180: Tragic ending (the beloved Robin Williams). Ep 182: Kyle dabbled in gay for like 15 (17, 18) years. Ep 182: M. Night Shamalamadingdong. Ep 182: Jimmy Parsi does not book nabisco. Ep 182: Jimmy hates cooking food. Ep 182: 'You wanted a passionate topic? Get rid of fantasy baseball - that's an effing snooze. Let's talk about cooking food.' Ep 182: 'So he's sneaky in his mind.' 'Like an Asian!' Ep 182: 'Come on, give me something for rice paper!' Ep 182: 'When you sit down, you sit on yourself. Whoops! That's myself.' Ep 182: 'Anything else on this table? That cup of diarrhea?' 'No I've got no problem with that.' Ep 183: 'There's nothing better than a little kitty paw.' Ep 183: 'This is what I smell like inside.' Ep 183: Marc: 'I don't believe I'm cynical. I think I'm relatively objective and a little aggravated.' Ep 184: Grandma Smelly-In-Her-Panties. Ep 184: Tato-ing nerf herders. Ep 184: Kyle's brain in bed: 'Don't do that.' Ep 184: Kyle's minimal CO2 rap. Ep 184: 'Whatever you're born, stay that way! Love Professor Blastoff.' Ep 184: Kyle Dunnigan - Best high school actor in his high school. Ep 184: Ivan Carlisle. Ep 184: Tig's a regular at the queef clinic. Ep 184: Pretty Little Baby. Block Walker. Fart Barterer. Ep 185: Tig is taking the permanent wave's side. Ep 186: Seamt. Ep 186: 'Is there a chance horse hoof smoke came out of my body during the surgery?' Ep 186: 'If you need a sabbatical, come work in my lap!' Ep 186: 'Nobody put Baby science in a corner.' Ep 187: Kyle wrote an amazing stuff-in-eye bit. Ep 187: 'It goes both.' Ep 187: Kyle auditions with himself. 'Daddy Mac, Cuddly Wuddly, Sugar Tits.' Ep 187: 'I'll show you weird! I've cuddled sober!' Ep 188: Hippies and nap buddies. Ep 188: 'Give your girlfriend the mic. Are you smart?' Ep 189: Serial meets The Wire. Ep 190: Womammal. Ep 190: Stephanie created a job - The Organiser of Chairs & Space. Ep 190: 'What else are circles?' Ep 190: 'We already talking about... Okay... Snacks and your diaper...' Ep 190: 'Time flies when you're in a diaper.' Ep 191: 'When you were born, you came out like the cutest little chicken.' Ep 191: Judy body raps! Ep 191: MOTHER does a MOTHER meditation. The best mother meditation of all! Ep 191: Olive eats constantly. Ep 191: 'THIS IS YOUR NOTE. YOU'RE UP HERE.' Ep 193: 'Are you licking your stinkies? You licking your stinkies?' Ep 193: 'Yeah, boss.' Ep 193: 'Feel the calm as your berries meet your twig.' Ep 193: 'I was acting.' Ep 194: Aaron tolerates Lake. Ep 195: Elf and pokier things. Ep 195: David's girlfriend asks if she's permitted to take a shower. Ep 195: Can Tig talk about her su-su-su-su-success? Ep 196: 'You're really getting serious about getting a date, aren't you?' Ep 196: yousaidsquattypottynow Ep 196: Put your head in her toilet. Ep 196: 'Squatty potties rock. Also addiction isn't good. Also imagine a girl taking a poop on your face.' Ep 196: All amoligies. Ep 196: Beef chickens. Ep 196: 'Looove addict! She's a looove addict!' Ep 197: Rustle the buffalo. Ep 197: Greg picks up any girls at 3pm every day. Ep 197: 'So Australia's a continent.' Ep 197: Tig Daddy. Ep 197: 'Once there was a girl who had her second period... LUNCH ROOM.' Ep 198: 'The key to beating this guy is knocking his wheat mask off.' Ep 199: 'But I've cured diseases and helped children and I was pecked to death by ducks!?' Ep 199: Pecked to death by Duck Girl. Ep 199: 'His arms went up like "ow, my neck." Ep 199: Mowwy Wingwald. Ep 199: 'Are you listening Gordon Lightfoot?' Ep 199: 'Are you listening Pope Francis? And Molly.' Ep 199: Pope Francis' Christmas party. 6pm to question-mark. Ep 199: The most stressful and annoying Professor Blastoff recording ever. (123dot123dot123dot123) Ep 199: Off-mic money talks. Ep 199: 'We're atoms. Let's touch 'em.' Ep 199:That's our Najji. Ep 199: 'Who's Aaron?' Ep 200: 'So there's no hyphen?' Ep 200: Seven-year-old Molly Ringwald ate a whole watermelon. Ep 200: Fourteen! Ep 200: 'I can rap backwards.' 'You just inhaled!' Ep 200: Legitimate kitty paws. Ep 201: Tig's got her TOP! HAT! Ep 201: Tig's ears look just like Ellen's. Ep 201: Rebecca is Tig's third-tier friend. If she died, she'd be sad in a third-tier way. Ep 201: 'Sincerely - a real one.' Ep 201: Lil Kicks. Ep 202: Stephanie is totally down with solitary confinement. Ep 202: Giraffes are benefiting from dating. Ep 202: 'Hey nice man's shirt.' Ep 202: 'Where do you like to go that makes you feel great?' Ep 202: 'I don't think rape is funny either.' Ep 202: 'This is not Professor Rapeoff.' Ep 203: Kyle does yoga and a lot of tea ceremonies. Ep 203: Dog airline! Ep 203: 'He sounds like he's in a lot of pain.' Ep 203: 'Everyone's always masturbating with my penis.' Ep 204: Tig's 41th birthday card. Ep 204: Christ School, the Christian musical. Ep 204: 'Yeah I don't want my baby to be beaten more than once.' Ep 204: 'Hey Kyle, does your arm hurt?' 'Nah-ny.' Ep 204: David topped Kyle's nanny joke. Ep 205: Lola was a nightclub. She would do cha cha. Ep 205: Kyle's butt's gay, but he's not. Ep 205: Angst-ridden teenage scrawny Kyle singing Phil Collins to his reflection. Ep 206: Blastin' m'lats. Ep 207: 'When I leave Vegas, I just make a giant circle back to Vegas.' Ep 208: 'That's why you don't fly over the ocean.' We weren't over the ocean. '...and I think I want her to die with me.' '...Oh god.' 'I don't think that's the coolest.' Ep 208: 'Rhys how many generations until there will be water people?' Ep 208: 'Battitude is the way bats would act.' Ep 208: Bubonic = Powerful boobs. Ep 208: 'I'm feeling really good about bubonic.' 'What a plague.' 'Oh great, now I've got perfect boobs.' 'Yeah Tig you've got that bionic, guuuuurl.' Ep 210: Judy gets texts about her bottom. Ep 210: A man wants to get excited with Judy's bottom. Ep 210: David isn't noteable on Wikipedia. Ep 210: 'I could probably TJ Maxx just by looking at your bottom.' Ep 210: Kyle: 'David from the podcast is MY David.' Ep 210: 'We've narrowed it down to either a man or a woman.' Ep 210: 'I love my Kyle. And I like you a lot David. I'd love you if I knew you more.' Ep 211: Margee from the bear story! Ep 211: 'Do you or do you not have fart squiggles?' Ep 211: Punky! Ep 211: Finally getting to Tig's answers on football pile-ups. Ep 212: Tig peed her pants on a motorcycle. Ep 214: 'Get off my turkey neck.' Ep 214: Christ High: The Musical. 'The best time to talk about Christ is after school.' Ep 214: 'If anyone can bring black holes back, it's you.' Ep 214: 'I feel like you're saying old people should kill themselves.' 'No, not all of them...' Ep 215: 'Tell me something. Did he ever kill a rooster?' Ep 215: 'Lonely people - you will know us by the trail of bear hugs.' Ep 215: 'Welp, that's been my part.' Ep 216: Del la Rue and Peter Pippy Five. Ep 216: Del was well-endowed, but it shrinks up into a little button as you get older. Ep 216: Del has crevices in his anus-taint area. Ep 217: 'New beginnings, old endings.' Ep 217: The death of the professor. Ep 217: 'David I feel you're moving into listenable material right now.' Thanks for everything Tiny Calves, Beach Poop & The Wig. xx Ria. @riacastlemead Category:Professor Blastoff